Monday, April 21, 2008

peeing in a cup and fun stuff like that

Am I the only one who hates going to the dr? Or let me rephrase I the only one who hates going to the gynecologists? Please tell me that I am not alone.

In general, I am a pretty outgoing person who is well rounded and smart (and so modest). I do well when speaking in front of crowds, meeting new people, and most social or new situations. But for some reason the moment I walk into my dr's office I turn into a total dufus. Seriously. I am a total mess.

I can never pee in the cup when needed. I swear my bladder gets stage fright and I end up with a line of angry preggos waiting outside the door wanting to kill me. I can hardly look my dr. in the eye while sitting naked covered up by a over sized paper towel. How anyone can try to hold a real conversation while watching the nurse lube up the utensils is beyond me. I just spit out random words in hopes that they will all come together in the end.

And I can't help but notice how bright the lighting is. Would it hurt to dim the lights a little? I wonder if my dr. would get the wrong idea if I lit some candles and turned off the lights. Yeah...probably. And what's with the small talk while he is between my legs using uncomfortable kitchen utensils?

dr:"So, how was your weekend?"
me: uhhh...good
dr: "Did you do anything exciting?"
me: hmmm...nope...closing eyes
dr: "You are going to feel a little pressure"
me: rolling eyes...if he got paid to say this line he would be filthy rich

and it continues on to chit chat about my best friend who was also a patient of his until she moved. He asks how she is liking her new home, etc. Very awkward, right?

And then it's over. I throw my over sized paper towel away, get dressed, and the nurse comes in with some paperwork and I leave. Until next time.

I wonder if it's weird for the dr. as well.

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